March 7, 2014

Making it long distance.

If you have read any of my previous posts you problably know by now that I have a boyfriend. But what I think most of you don't know is that we live in different continents, unfortunately I live in Brazil (some new information for you there as well) and he is living right now in France. 

We met when I was studying there and to make a long story short (not exectly that long) we fell deeply in love and decided to give it a go long distance. I know I'm not the most qualified person to be giving relationship advice, and right now a lot of reasons for that come in my mind like : I only had two serious relationships in my life counting the one that I'm in right now and a another previous one that went completly wrong.

But anyways I'm here right now and I'm wiriting this. Well, I mean we are still together, planning a future and I read a lot of articles about this online. That makes me a pro, right ?! Seventeen magazine and Marie Claire know what they are talking about.. 

So, to stop rambling I have to begin with (and this goes to everybody that is in a relationship, it doesn't need to be long or short distance) : Facebook is your ENEMY. I cannot count how many times I had a fight with my exs because of this lovely social media. Just to make things clear, I don't have anything against facebook but you need to agree with me that sometimes it gives you more information then you need to know. And more importantly information outside its contexte, so for example your boyfriend is hugging a very atractive woman in a picture and you go all crazy at him, just to figure out after that the woman is a happily married lesbian with two adorable daughters. So you get my point, don't start looking for things on other people's walls and everything, because if he is cheating on you, girl, you are not going to find out with a picture. Instead I suggest you using it to leave cute messages for him or her ON THEIR INBOX (nobody likes overly romantic couples) and calling them by the little chat when skype is too annoying with that connexion.

Talking about Skype, here is your best friend just like viber, whatsapp and all of those amazing technological things that help us talk and comunicate with our loved ones that are far away without suggesting anything. And along with that comes another advice, communicate. I think it's extremely important to have a skype rendez-vous at least once a day. In my opinion, if you can't be with the person everyday it's important to make them feel like they are still a part of it. Talk about what you ate, what you did, what movie you watched, what you did in the gym, your hopes and dreams, your fears, the weather.. everything is important when someone is very far away. 

It's also important to don't get very excited with the communication. Talk and everything but don't exaggerate, because you don't want it to become something annoying or an obligation and if you are not living your life you are going to run out of things to talk about anyway.

And next comes, trust. If you don't trust them, all the little things are going to be a problem and you are going to go cray cray (is that still a thing ??). Because you can't expect them to not go to a bar or a club or to not be friends with people of the opposite sex. And let's face it, if someone wants to cheat they are going to do it, no matter how many questions and restrictions you do on skype. 

Now, to more positive things. Know the date or have a strong idea of the next time you are seing eachother, it's important to have something to look foward to. And another thing that for me is the most important one, only put your effort into this if you really feel like this could have a future, because it is extremely hard and if don't see it as a temporary fase I don't see how this could work. 

And my last advice is to make the best of the distance. Send a surprise package, letters or make them a playlist of your favorite songs... And something that I also read somewhere and my boyfriend really liked, it's a little stupid but make a video of your day for them, it is going to make them feel like a they were spending that day with you. 

My words of wisdom end here today. 
If you are in a long distance relationship and has more tips on how to make it work please share, trust me I need it. 

Wish you all a wonderful day and thanks for reading ! 

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