September 17, 2014

Is He a Good Guy ?


I think I've mentioned a couple of times now that I have a wonderful and amazing boyfriend and I consider myself very lucky that we found each other. But before I met him my love life went through periods of either non existent or a complete mess. 

I've had my fair share of creepy or overly attached boyfriends, guys who didn't call me back, dinner dates that went nowhere and relationships that lasted for a week. So pretty much everything that a young woman goes through in the process of finding Mr. Right or The One I can honestly say been there, done that.. except for one night stands (it's just not for me but if it works for you, you go girl !). 

But I'm not here to help you find Mr. Right. In on of my previous posts (21 Things Every 21 year-old Girl Should Know) I've mentioned that you should always go for the good guy. So I thought it'll be cool to share with you some tips I've learned to discover if the guy you're currently dating is really a good guy or if he is just a very bad liar, without having to go trough his phone or Facebook chat history. 

DISCLAIMER : I hate expressions like Mr. Right or The One, I used them before just because I thought it was funny. I don't think you'll never find Mr. Right or The One simply because they don't exist. Everybody has their flaws and things you would change about them. 

Now, lets get to it ! 

Does He Call You Back ?

This my seem so stupid for some of you but I think it's one of the most important. If a guy likes you and cares about you, he'll make the time to call you back no matter what. Even if he's busy with work or if something just came up. A late text saying Sorry, was busy just won't cut it.

Does He Include You In Future Plans ? 

By future plans I'm not talking about marriage or future children. I mean, does he make plans for the next week or month ? Because if he does I suppose he's planning on sticking around to see these plans trough. He could always be lying but usually guys who are not taking the relationship seriously don't even bother enough to lie about this. 

Is He Late ? 

For me being late is a HUGE turn down and a RED FLAG. I personally hate people who waste my time and if the guy doesn't care enough to show up on time he's not worthy of your time. 

I think that if he cares about you and is just as committed to the relationship as you he'll not make you wait because he'll be just as excited to see you as you'll be to see him. It's that simple. So if he makes you wait he'd better have a f#$!&* awesome excuse. I'm not kidding, the only ones acceptable are a zombie apocalypse or a tornado.  

Do You Know His Friends ?

If he doesn't care about you he'll not bring you around his friends because you're not that important. For me meeting the friends and the family are very two important steps because you're bringing "your special someone" into the most special people in your life and you care about their "approval".

And also, if you bring them around your friends and family and he doesn't care about making a good impression or he doesn't make the effort to talk with anyone it just shows he doesn't really care about you.       

Too Fast

Taking things too fast is a sign that he's in a hurry and people who plan on sticking around are never in hurry. If he's pushing you into taking this further that you're comfortable with or making you do things that you don't want to do, RUN, just RUN ! 

If that's the case he's definitively not a good guy and truly doesn't appreciate you. In a good relationship the couple (YOU and him) should be comfortable with the pace of things. And let's be honest, if he really loves/ cares about you he'll wait and if he feels like he can't wait he'll just leave. A gentleman NEVER feels comfortable with pushing you into doing something you don't want. 

Do You Talk About Important Things ?

I have a friend who dated a guy for almost 8 months and didn't even know where he worked. In my opinion this is not a relationship. And if you're not looking for one it's completely understandable that you'll not get into these topics, but if you're looking for a boyfriend I think that's something to keep an eye on. 

Discussing important things in your life like work, college, dreams or future plans is something you do with people that you trust and trust is the base of every relationship, even a friendship. 

So if any of those things never came up in one of your conversations and you've been dating for a significant time I believe that it's a sign of lack of trust or lack of interest.  

These are a couple of the things I've learned from previous relationships that I think all the girls out there should keep in mind in order to avoid some serious heartbreaks. 

Just keep in mind that all of these points are subjective and everybody is different. So I'd say to pay most attention to your gut. If you feel like something is off, it's probably off. Don't ignore your instincts (when it comes to boys they're 99% of the times right) and if you see any red flags along the way run, as I said before they're there for a reason. 

And also, these topics work both for boys and girls. Dealing with a**holes is not a privilege of women, some guys also have to deal with relationship drama. 

I hope you guys enjoyed this post. Relationship is one of the things that I most enjoy talking and giving advice about. 

Leave me all your questions and thoughts in the comments. I love hearing from you and I feel like everybody has something to say about this topic. And specially if you're a man I'd love to know what you think about this.

What did I miss ? Do you agree ? Did you find a good guy ? 
Are you a good guy ? 

Thanks so much for reading ! 

- Michele Mattos.


  1. It is of course easier said than done but yes, go with your gut! If it feels weird, it's probably weird. If it feels great, it probably is great! Also, it might sound backwards but pay attention to yourself and who are and want to be. When you actually do that it becomes easier to pay attention to those gut feelings about other people.
    :) Alice

    1. You're so right, Alice ! I really agree that when you know yourself more it gets way easier to see what do you want and what you don't want in a relationship.

      Thanks for joining the discussion ! :)You're so right, Alice ! I really agree that when you know yourself more it gets way easier to see what do you want and what you don't want in a relationship.

      Thanks for joining the discussion ! :)

  2. Sometimes, some guys are just weird. One of my ex's was chasing me for weeks and it was all him making the move, we had all the similar friends, the same interests. But for him I think it was all about the chase, weeks afterwards it just fizzled out for him while I was just getting into it. It's weird, I thought we left on good terms but he avoids me like the plague. It's odd haha.

    But yeah, your gut tells you a lot when it comes to dating, sometimes you just "know".

    1. I just had a conversation with my friend and she said the same thing : "Sometimes guys (and I think people in general) are just weird."
      They're not sure about what they want and once the chasing ends they loose interest. That ex-boyfriend of yours look like bad news !

      Thanks for stopping by, Rachel. It's always nice to have you here ! :)

  3. I absolutely loved this post. I've been through horrible relationships as well and I think you described it perfectly.


    1. I'm glad you liked the post. And I'm so sorry you had go trough a horrible relationship.. I know how it feels like ! ://