February 12, 2015

HOW TO: Get Over A TERRIBLE Breakup .

First of all let me assure you guys that everything is great between me and Sebastian and we're not planning on breaking up anytime soon. The idea for this post came to me yesterday after I got a call from a very close friend of mine telling me she broke up with her boyfriend after staying together for 4 years.. yes, 4 years ! In her case nobody cheated and it was actually a very "clean" breakup in which they just agree to go their separate ways.

But in my opinion it doesn't really matter how it ends because when it's over it's over and there's no point in looking back and thinking about "how it could have been" and what you would have done differently or even "what are you're gonna do now without him or her. In case you're asking yourself that last question you can stop now because I have the answer for you: YOU'RE JUST GONNA LIVE YOUR LIFE. You're life should not be defined by your romantic relationships and honestly you do not need anyone.. 

I know that having a boyfriend/girlfriend is amazing. I have a boyfriend myself and although we make plans together in case we decide to go our separate ways in the future (I really hope that doesn't happen but it can happen) I will not die or be lost, I'm just gonna keep moving forward and keep trying to achieve the plans I already had.

I've been through many breakups before and I know that it's all easier said then done. So I thought it'd be cool share with you guys a couple of things you can do to get your mind out of it and to slowly get over that stupid guy who broke you heart. 

Specially if he's the one who wanted to break things up in the first place. Calling him is not gonna do you any good and there's really nothing to be said after a breakup. You both are sad and heartbroken so it's better to just get over it first and after if you still have something to say to him you can do that.. but just give yourself time to get over it first. And also, you don't want to risk calling him just to know that he's actually doing very well without you and you're the only one feeling miserable.. So it's best to just give it some time.

While you're giving yourself time to heal you should definitely do something, anything really.. Go for a walk, work out, do your nails, watch a movie (no romance or drama), start a blog, read a book, start a new project.. it doesn't really matter what but I think it's important to keep your mind busy and not just sit on the couch thinking about him. And if you can menage to do something productive that will better your life and yourself it's always a plus.

My first and only terrible breakup (the other ones were easier) happened when I was in the last year of high school and like I said it was terrible. I think he cheated on me (he never admitted) and he said horrible things to me (like 'I would never get a another boyfriend 'cause I was a horrible person') and I believed him. But I didn't want to sit around and think about these things 'cause they were making me sad so I just started to study. Yes, we were in the end of summer break and I started to study like a maniac and that actually helped.. A LOT. I kept my mind busy and focused on what was important and the whole teenage relationship drama fell to the background. When school started again I got the best grades I got in the entire year and that guy didn't seem very important after. Of course there were times where I wanted to cry and mope around but when those feelings came I just called a friend or baked brownies (do not recommend the last one). 

I've been rambling a lot but my point is to just keep yourself busy with things that are good for you.. like working out, studying or starting a new project. At the end of the day life is too short to waste time with people who don't care about you.

And when I say go out I mean it. Get ready, do your hair, your makeup, paint your nails and choose a great outfit. Go out for drinks, to a club or even shopping. Seeing and talking to new people will make you realize that your ex is not the only guy in the world and specially that he's not the only guy that is interest in you. I'm not saying for you to look for a new relationship 'cause I think we all need to give ourselves time to get over someone and finding a new boyfriend is not the way to go but to just talk and HAVE FUN.

I say this in the sense of getting ready in the morning like showering, doing your makeup and making yourself look presentable. If you look like crap you'll start to feel like crap and that doesn't help anyone specially if you're going through a breakup. It is forbidden and unacceptable to stay in your pajamas the entire day.  

Because it'll just remind you of the good times you guys spent together and make you forget all the bad things and the reasons that made you breakup. I don't know about you guys but even now that I have a boyfriend I still get kind of sad when I listen to those super romantic songs just because he's not here right now so I just avoid them. So no watching "The Notebook" or "The Fault In Our Start" and stay away from the Nutella. 

Why would you give yourself more reasons to feel upset about something ? So if you're in the look out for new songs 'cause your iTunes is filled with Ed Sheeran's most romantic songs I would recommend "Shake It Off" from Taylor Swift and "This Is How We Do" from Katy Perry. Happy and upbeat songs will put you in a better mood, trust me.

And now I'm kind of contracting myself but not really.. I just want to tell you that it's OK to be sad. It doesn't matter how long you were in the relationship or how old you are every breakup sucks and it's completely understandable and acceptable for you to feel sad sometimes. But not always. I think the trick is to give yourself time to feel all the emotions and then when you're ready flip the page and try to not look back.

The tips/advice that I shared here today are pretty much what I just told my friend when she called. I know that everyone is different and has their way of getting over stuff but this tips were just to help you out in case your feeling lost or like you don't know where to go. I hope this was helpful.

What are your tips for getting over a broken heart ?
Have you ever been through a terrible breakup ?

Thank you so much for reading and I'll see you on the next one !



  1. Definitely agree with the don't call thing..back when my phone did speed dial I changed out that speed dial from my ex to another person. TWICE I called and was confused when it was my friend answering the phone instead of my ex but it totally worked! Ha ha! Also, give it time. The longer you've been together, the longer it will take to get over being sad or mad or whatever you're feeling.
    :) Alice

  2. This is such good advice. I think it's totally OK to give yourself a little time to wallow, eat too many sweets, watch TV all day, etc, because you tend to reach a point when you get sick of that and you actually start wanting to get back out there in the real world again. Break ups are always tough but from each one you learn. Corny but true! x

    Kate Louise Blogs

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