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March 19, 2015

Are you lost ? So am I.


I've already written a couple of posts about college here on the blog but I still had a couple more things to say about this topic. I know I keep repeating myself over and over again (probably because I'm so excited about it) but I'm currently on my last semester of college and as the whole "growing up" situation keeps getting closer and closer my anxiety has been reaching the highest levels ever recorded in history.

In my weird mind finishing college marks the beginning of adult life. I know I'm already considered an adult (I'm 22 years old) everywhere in the world but in my head I'm still a student, crossing over into adulthood and hanging on to the last bits of my young adult life. At the end of this semester I'll be a "full on adult" having to find a job, a house and start living by myself. Wait, I don't want you guys to get me wrong, my parents are not kicking me out of the house or anything.. If it was up to my mom I'd be living with her for the rest of my life. 

This is all me. I don't know if it's because of "society" or whatever you wanna call it but to me finishing college is a little slap in the face telling you: GROW UP and BE A WOMAN. And I'm terrified about it.. Seriously, I have NO idea of what the heck I wanna do with my life. And everyone keeps telling me: You'll be fine ! You have a good degree from a good university ! It's normal to feel this way ! Everybody has felt this way is their tweenties ! - But if everyone has already been there and done that why the hell nobody gives you the answer or tells you how to make a decision and choose a direction ? When I figure out my life I'll create a life coaching business for young woman..

Some of you guys might be laughing at me right now, some of you might be thinking I'm stupid and some of you might actually understand what I'm going through. Choosing my major in college was already hard for me, now imagine choosing what I want to do for the rest of my life. As you can see, I have problems making big decisions. I have a million questions racing through my mind: What if I don't find a job ? What if I find a horrible job ? What if I pick the wrong career ? What if I don't want any career and want to just be a stay at home mom ? What if I chose the wrong college major ? - I don't even know what I want to eat for lunch today.. How am I supposed to make so many decisions ?

I've always believed that everything works out in the end but right now I'm not so sure and my many doubts are eating me inside out. I know I'm very lucky to have the privilege of being able to have those doubts and that a lot of people in the world don't even have the possibility to go to college. And trust me when I say that I'm beyond grateful for being able to pursue higher education and for having choices, I'm aware a lot of people don't have them.

I don't want to whine but nobody said life was going to be so hard. I miss being certain about things, like in high school when I was certain I wanted to go to college. I've always been indecisive but I thought that if I just focused on the next step ahead and figured out one thing at a time I'd be fine but now I'm completely stuck and cannot figure out my next step. 

I mean, I could always keep working on my education and go for a master degree and after a PhD but I want o start working and making my own money so I can move out. But when I start thinking about all of this I panic and cannot make a single move.. Why can't I just stay in my bedroom watching Pretty Little liars with my cat ? (BTW, any clues about who is A ?)

But coming back to the topic in discussion, this is everything that has been going on in mind recently. I'm pretty sure that feeling lost is natural at this age but it becomes so frustrating sometimes that you feel like nobody in the world can understand you. I thought writing this post might help me clear up my mind or at least put my thoughts in order but I'm still as lost as I was when I started writing. So for now, I'll just stick to my own advice and enjoy the confusion trusting that everything will work out at the end. 

What are your thoughts in this matter ?
Do you have any good advice ?
Have you ever been through this ? If so, does it get better ?
Please feel free to share your wisdom on the comments below.

Thank you so much for stopping by. 


  

   

11 comments:

  1. The cool thing about being an "adult" is that you get to be one for a long time. That's also what's tricky because you don't have a set age or life change to look forward to anymore (remember getting to be 10 and holding up ALL of your fingers for your age? That was awesome.) Nobody has advice because for the first time you can make any of hundreds of choices (or more if your first few choices bring you a bunch of money haha).
    My only advice for anyone, which I just gave to my 11 yr old cousin who want to be an astro-physicist and also have babies when she grows up is to just work towards it and plan, ignore anyone telling you that you can't, and don't forget that you are allowed to change your mind.
    Also, I think you should totally be a life coach for young women. I think there should be a lot of those.
    :) Alice

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    1. Thank you so much, Alice ! I really appreciate you words ! :)

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  2. Trust me, it's okay not to no what you want to do with your life. Nor do I think you have to work it out as soon as university finishes. Which is awesome because I'm 28 and don't really know either. Well I guess I do, but I'm not leading the life I had imagined I would. What helped me through the years since university is just listening to my gut and going with what is right for me. Not what's right for everyone else, or what I should be doing or achieving by a certain age, or what I feel I should be doing to get others approval. But what I feel is right for me. Because that's what matters at the end of the day.

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  3. I have no idea. I'm three years away from graduating high school and it already seems too soon! I can't even comprehend what you're going through when my main concern is picking my senior subjects and all that. You've definitely got bigger decisions to make, but it all makes me want to stay at home and watch Pretty Little Liars as well. Ali's trial has got me hooked.

    -M
    The Life of Little Me

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    1. Just enjoy your time is high school, M ! Time goes by faster than you think ! :)

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  4. Whatever your decision is just make sure you are always doing the things that motivates you and makes you a better person.In real time things fall into place ,everyone falls into this confusion sometimes regardless of age.So take a day at a time.Your new fan on GFC if you have a minute you can visit my blog too.Keep in touch.

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    1. Thank you so much for you advice, Ruth ! I will definitely go check on your blog ! :)

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  5. Why is your blog always so perfect!From the posts to the pictures,everything is so beautiful! xx
    fashionismyfirstlanguage.blogspot.ie

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    1. Awww, thank you so much ! You are always so nice, Elizabeth ! :)

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  6. I love how much I can relate to this! I'm 20 years old and i'm currently studying at university and I keep having those big questions like - do I want to do this for the rest of my life? should I move away to another country? If I don't study nursing..then what else could I do? And they are the most annoying thoughts because they are BIG decisions. I always remind myself this though - nothing in life is permanent. If you don't like your job then you can change careers. If you don't like where you live you can move. You are never stuck in one place forever and you can decide what you want to do with your life. Hope that helps a little!
    But yes..why can't I stay in my cozy bed and watch pretty little liars all day and bake cookies?! And i'm thinking A is Alisons dad or Toby. Totally not sure though because my mind changes every episode. This week though we FINALLY find out who it is..woohoo! Holly :) x http://thechroniclesofholly.blogspot.com.au/

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  7. Just received a check for $500.

    Sometimes people don't believe me when I tell them about how much money you can get by taking paid surveys online...

    So I show them a video of myself actually getting paid $500 for paid surveys.

    ReplyDelete

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