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March 9, 2015

The Meaning Behind My Blog Name.

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I know I've said a couple of times before that I chose the name Let Me Cross Over for the blog because I was looking for a cool and fun name for a traveling blog. But to be honest, the story doesn't end here. And since we're still going strong after almost 2 years on this crazy roller-coaster ride I thought it was a good time to share this little story with you guys. 

The main reason I decided to start the blog when I did was because I was feeling lost. I felt my like my life was going nowhere and I just needed something new. Something exciting, different and challenging to bring back some spark into my life. I had just came back from a 6 month exchange program (read all about it here) and I was feeling even more lost than when I started that journey. I was going into my last year in college and the fear of getting older and having to become an adult was scaring the crap out of me mostly because I wasn't completely satisfied with the direction my life was going.

I was also feeling bored. I felt like I was forced to leave the little life I created for myself in that completely different and exciting city and reality hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt like my days were passing by me without nothing actually happening, I was loosing interest in my classes and felt like the teachers weren't teaching me anything new and like my friends and family were always talking about the same things and going to the same places. And then the this thought came to my head: 

"Wouldn't it be cool if I could start over ? If I could begin this better and more exciting life in which cool things actually happen ? If I could go places and meet new and interesting people ? If I could simply cross over to a better life ?"

Following that a bunch of other thoughts started racing through my mind: "I already know so many interesting people. I've already been to so many cool and fun places. I've already experienced so many interesting things". And then the idea of putting all this experiences together and writing them down into one place that I could go back to and keep remembering them in the moments that I need came to me and I came up with this blog. 

This was supposed to be my little secret and yes, I'm aware of the irony of trying to have a little secret just for you and then putting it on the internet. But in my weird mind the internet was so big and there were so many people already sharing their lives and thoughts on it that my blog would somehow remain unnoticed on this little corner. 

But as I started writing posts and realizing that other people were also interested in reading about my experiences and sharing their thoughts with me, this whole blogging thing took and unexpected turn in my life. First of all, I stopped hiding and started to answer the comments and connect with the people who were showing interest in what I had to say. Second, seeing people interested in my thoughts made me want to share more than travelling stories. And third, I realized that I was also running out of things I wanted to originally confide on the blog but my desire to blog was no where near over. 

And then I started to think again. But this time things were a little bit different. I was feeling more grateful for the life I already had and the people in it. So after this whole thinking and meditating process I realized that my life is the way it is because of me. I'm the only one capable of changing it.. I'm an adult, I have a car, I'm almost finishing college and I have nothing holding me back. 

With all of this in mind and feeling a strange mix between power and fear this blog changed from being a place where I documented past experiences to a place where I could share with you guys my journey into finding new experiences and also the things that I loved. From wanting and wishing I could cross over to actually taking the steps towards crossing over. I was and still am hoping that by writing about things that I love and trying out different things I would finally find my own path in life and figure out what the heck I want to. 

I know I just got a little too deep over here and that at the end of the day this is just a blog and nothing more. I do not get any other payment other than my own satisfaction out of this, but what can I ? It makes me happy. It's something I look forward to doing every single day and I surprisingly don't feel like I'm wasting my time at it. 

I still don't have clue about what I want to do in my life or the path I want to take. I don't know if I want to be a housewife, an astronaut, pack a bag and travel the world or start an online business. All I know is that ever since I started blogging I'm becoming everyday a little tiny bit less scared of the future and a little more curious to know what lies ahead for me. 

I know that blogging is different for everybody and we're all looking for different things not only with our blogs but also with in lives. This is just my experience with it and I'd love to know yours if you'd like to share. 

Thank you so much for reading. 
It really means a lot to me.
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2 comments:

  1. Wow, great post. I know how you feel, life can be quite scary when you're no longer a student!

    HMLovur

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