May 29, 2015

First Date Tips.

I don't know if you'll remember but a couple of months ago I wrote a post about getting over a horrible breakup, which was inspired by a good friend of mine who had gone through a break up at the time. I'm happy to say that she is going on a date this week, it's her first date after her breakup and also her first date with the guy.

So before I start talking to you guys about my friend's dating life in depth (shout out to her for inspiring my posts) I decided it'd be fun to share some advice for some of you who might be going on a first date soon and even if you're not, hopefully, this knowledge will be useful in the future. This is literally all we've been talking about for the past week and I believe I have some pretty good insights to share. 

First of all, I've not gone too many "dates". I don't know what's up with the guys from my town but it's not very often someone goes up to you and flat out invites you on a date. If my memory is not tricking me I believe I've gone to no more than 2 first dates in my entire life. Not even Sebastian (my boyfriend) invited me on a date, it all happened so quickly and when I realized I was already in a serious relationship.. Not that I'm complaining.

Now, I'm gonna stop rambling about my life and get right to the point. 

Don't be late

I hate when people are late. I seriously can't stand if someone makes me wait, I just think it's disrespectful. My dad always said that the only thing you cannot make people waste is their time because you cannot pay it back (does this make sense ? I'm kinda translating it from Portuguese). So, specially if you're going a date, make sure you're not late and if something unexpected happens call or text explaining it. 

Don't eat anything too messy

I mean, don't go for sushi or something with a lot of sauce and green ingredients that can be stuck on your teeth. I suggest you don't eat anything at all, since it's a first date you guys can perfectly go for a coffee or something. But if he invites you to dinner, try to eat something neutral.   

Avoid going to the movies

I know a lot of people choose to go to the movies on first dates but I don't think it's a good idea. To me movies are quite awkward if you're not if someone you already know. You don't know if you should just watch the movie, hold hands.. I don't know.. The whole thing came become awkward and weird. 

And also, you guys should somewhere you can talk, laugh and get to know each other. Like a coffee shop, going for a walk in the park or skip the movies and go straight to dinner. And if you really like the person and want to spend more time with them you can always have dinner in a restaurant and go somewhere else for drinks and desert. 

Talk about safe topics

Please, do not start talking about how your childhood pet died, who you voted for in the last election or why you got fired from your previous job. Stick to the safe topics like school, work, movies you've watched recently, books.. Stuff you enjoy doing. To sum up, talk about positive and pleasant things.  

You can get to all the other important stuff one the second or third date. For now, all you need to know is if the guy has a job (or is going to school or something), if he's not weird in a bad way (because everybody is weird some way or another) and if he treats you well. 

First dates are for getting to know each other a little and decide if you want to know more about them or not. If you're scared of running out of things to talk about just use the best thing God has ever gifted us, social media. Stalk him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and try to figure out a couple of things he might be interested in and just bring it up CASUALLY during the conversation. DO NOT SAY YOU WERE STALKING HIM/HER. 

Stay away from the phone

And try to have a normal conversation. I know that nowadays everyone is super attached to their phones but having your eyes glued to your phone is just rude and it shows that you don't care about what the other person is saying.  

Let your friends know where you are

This specially applies if you just met the guy and don't know much about him. Also tell you friends his name and even give them his phone number, you can never be too careful. Probably nothing bad will happen but you never know  

Try to have a good time

Don't over analyse everything he does and says and just try to be calm and enjoy your date. Be yourself. 

Do you have any tips to share with us ?

Thank you so much for reading.

1 comment:

  1. These are all such great tips! I agree with the whole "being late thing". Being late is just rude, and by being on time it shows you've made a real effort for the date. Also the not being on your phone is such a good point. As soon as a guy picks up his phone I instantly lose interest. One time this guy actually answered a phone call! While he chatted to his 'mate' I awkwardly kept munching on my salad.
    One of my biggest tips is to get ready early. If you're meeting at 7 and it usually takes you an hour to get ready..get ready at 5. By getting ready earlier you can take your time planning what you'll wear and how you'll do your make-up. Whenever i'm rushed I get all frazzled/anxious. So yeah..get ready early in case anything doesn't go to plan.
    Holly x