October 20, 2015

But He Has A Girlfriend.

Picture this: You arrive in class and you spot a super cute guy that you haven't seen around before. He's super dreamy, nice hair, nice body and (in my fanstasy) you can even see the most adorable dimples in his face when he smiles at you. You give yourself a little pep talk, mess with your hair a little bit, take a deep breath and sit, totally casually, in the seat beside him. 

Apparently the Gods (or whatever divine creature you believe in) are on your side today and completely out of the blue  "super cute guy" starts a conversation with you. You guys talk and talk some more about the most interesting topics on the planet and at the end of the lecture you say goodbye looking forward to next week's class for the first time in your life.

As you're arrive home the first thing you do is go on facebook and turn on your stalking mode so you can find this mysterious guys asap. And then.. YOU FIND HIM. After you take a 2 second break to do a little celebratory dance you find out that he's is in serious relationship and that his girlfriend is even tagged on his relationship status. I mean, talk about marking your territory, right? So what do you next?

Who hasn't been in that situation? Maybe you didn't meet mysterious guy in class but in a Starbucks or whatever have you.. We've all been through that and it's completely nerve wrecking to figure out what to do. In your mind you guys are already planning your honeymoon in Bora Bora but on the other side you're a feminist and you respect other women and you don't want to do something that you wouldn't like done to you. So what to do? 

I have the answer for you: NOTHING. I know you want to storm in class next week screaming "Hey hey you you, I don't like your girlfriend" but that would be ridiculous and you know it. So there's nothing left to do but to wait for your time. Maybe he breaks up with his girlfriend tomorrow, next year or never but the most probable scenario is that you'll get over your crush. 

Trying to break them up is not the best option in any scenario. Because first, if the situation was different I really don't think you'd like if someone was trying to ruin your relationship. Second, maybe they've been dating for 7 years and no matter what you do you'll only be wasting your time and embarrassing yourself. And third, you don't want to start anything with a guy who possibly cheats on his girlfriend with you or anything shady like this.     

If you're currently in that situation I think the best thing to do is just to wait it out. Try to be friends with him and see if his inside matches his rocking outside. And if it does and you figure out that you're practically long lost soulmates you just flat out tell him and let he make his choice. And no matter what, you keep your head up and your conscience clean because you did everything in the right way and you didn't become a home wrecker. 

Having a crush on or even falling for someone who is already in a relationship sucks and it probably won't end well. But if you see that the feelings won't go away you need to face them the best way possible and without disrespecting anyone (you, "super cute guy" or his girlfriend) because, trust me, you will regret it and karma is a bitch, my friend.

I'm sure someone amazing you'll come your way and you don't need to break a couple up to find a boyfriend or anything like that. I'm a big believer that somehow (do not ask me why) things end up the way they're supposed to. And if something is not supposed to happen right now it doesn't mean that it can't happen in the future. 

So, don't do anything stupid or that you'll possibly regret in the future. Don't go against your principles and just give it some time. If you crush fades away, perfect. If you "super cute guy" starts to correspond your feeling even better. But it's important to get ready for the worst case scenario and for that you need to be in peace with yourself knowing that you didn't do anything shady or that you'll most likely regret in the future. 

I thought about writing this post because in the past I've been in a very similar situation and the best thing I did was to give it sometime for things to fall into place. I hope this helped you in a way and if it didn't I hope at least thought it was entertaining. 

If you have any more topics you'd like advice on or just to know my thoughts on the matter, please let me know 'cause I'd love to talk about it. I really like talking about relationships if you couldn't tell!

Do you have any words of wisdom to share?
Have you ever been in a situation like this?

Thanks so much for stopping by. 


  1. This is literally my life! As awful as it is, I think waiting is definitely the best decision. In most cases, you'll probably get over it and move on. And if you feel like this is how things are going to go, you should try to distance yourself from the guy because being around him will only make moving on more difficult. But yes, things will work out in the way that they're meant.

    1. I'm sorry to hear that you're in this position, Madison. But I'm glad to know that you're facing it the right way.. I'm 100% sure that you'll find the right person for you and, like you said, if things are supposed to work out in the future between you two they will.Sending lots of positive energy! :)

  2. I love how you always tell it like it is. Your advice posts are awesome! You are completely right, if he cheats with you he will probably cheat on you.
    :) Alice

    1. Thanks, Alice! You're always so sweet and supportive! :)