March 30, 2016

My Tips For Living A Happier Life.

I've recently made a lot of big changes in my life and pretty much turned things upside down. Although I'm still in the transitioning process and getting used to all these changes, I can already see that I've made the right the choice. I was unhappy, feeling anxious all the time and pretty much second guessing every step I took. I felt like I couldn't move forward or make a decision and when I finally did settle on doing something I would immediately freak out and try my best to go back to where I was before.

The first thing I did was find a psychologist I was comfortable with. I did a lot of talking, a lot of analyzing and a lot of crying too. I started to look at my "problems" and the things I wasn't happy with in a more pragmatic way and I came up with solutions. I talked to my parents to see if they could help me with the most difficult things, like moving out, and it all just started to come together. 

It wasn't easy changing things up and I wouldn't recommend doing it all at once like I did. But in my case I knew that if I didn't go with the motion and just do it all at once I would just chicken out like I was doing before and everything would stay the same. I'm not saying a have recipe for helping you to be happy because we all live very different lives. But I feel like being happy is not always about making big changes like it was for me and I do have some little tips that really helped me out in the process. 

Cut toxic people from your life: This was the most important one for me and that's why it's number one on my list. Don't ever underestimate the power of toxic people in your life. It's like they suck all your energy and bring you down constantly. You feel like you're never good enough so you don't even try. 

I think I've already mentioned it here on the blog but one of my favorite quotes is: "May the bridges I burn light the way". To me it means taking all that energy and time you waste on toxic people and using it towards accomplishing your goals. Some may think it's a little extreme but to me it makes a lot of sense. 

Spend time with friends and family: Surround yourself with positive people. People who want to see you thrive and that inspire you to be successful. I cannot stress how important this is. No matter what path you're on at the moment things we'll get tricky eventually and at some point you're going to feel like it's impossible to keep going and that's when you'll need positive people around to cheer you on along the way 

Stick to your goals: When we are sad or confused we tend to just sit around and do nothing or completely ignore the things we need to do in order to "clear our minds". Although it is good to take sometime out every now and then, when you're confused or sad this might not be the best advice. 

Having something to do, feeling like you have a purpose and that you're actually accomplishing something is always good, specially when you're in that situation. Don't take time out of work or ignore your homework. My best advice would be to stick to the things you're certain in your life like your career, your independence and your education. 

Do something you love everyday: I reserve at least one to two hours every night to do something relaxing that I love. It's my time with myself when I can regroup and unwind. I usually watch a movie, some YouTube videos or read a book. That way, I don't feel like taking as many breaks as usually would throughout the day because I know I'll have time do unwind at night. 

Work out: Working out releases endorphin and endorphin makes you happy. It's that simple. It's science. If you don't believe me, google it! Another good thing about working out is that it makes you more confident. I'm not saying you need to be thin to be confident but toning up doesn't hurt nobody. 

Eat well: I guess what I'm trying to say with these last two tips is just to be good to your body. Focus on you (on your heath and well being) and I guarantee that you'll feel happier and more confident to make all the changes you feel like you need to have a better life. 

Extra tip: Go dancing! This may sound silly and even a little stupid. But, specially if you're a girl, get your friends together, do you make up, get all dolled and go out. I don't know about you but when I look nice, I feel good and confident on the inside. You don't need to go dancing, but to me dancing always helps and it can always count as a work out.

That's all for today, folks! I hope you enjoyed this post and that you at least took something from it. This is just the start of the conversation so feel free to leave me any comments or suggestions. I love hearing from you guys!

Do you have any tips to share with us?

Thanks so much for reading and I'll talk yo you soon. 

March 21, 2016

I HATE The Players and You LOVE The Game.

Here I am today with another chapter of my Single Life Adventures - this should really be a series here on the blog if it wasn't so depressing at times. So, I haven't gone on a date or met anyone interesting yet, but I've been chatting/texting with a few guys here and there and let me tell you something: IT'S THE MOST FRUSTRATING THING EVER. I don't wanna come here and sound like a grandma, but when did things get this complicated? And how are we supposed to know all these "rules" that apply when you're texting? Is there a book people are reading that I don't know of?

I mean.. You can't reply too fast or take too long, you need to be careful with what kind of emojis you use, depending on what time you text a person it means something different, what they say is not always what they mean and I'm just like.. Can we all just be normal? If a guy texts you and you happen to be on your phone at the time, why can't you just text him back already? Why does that make me desperate? And I'm just gonna put it out there, dating would be a lot easier if we just said what we meant!

Get ready 'cause I'm gonna say something revolutionary: if you don't want to go out with a person just say NO. You don't need to create excuse after excuse and hope they take the hint. Some people are oblivious and giving a straight answer only saves you time and energy. I feel like when it comes to dating, you don't own anyone anything. 

I know it sounds bad but let me explain. You don't need to feel guilty about saying no just because he has a great personality. If you're not interested or attracted to him just say no and move on. You save your time, his time and he might be a little angry at first but he'll get over it. If you just treat people with respect you can and you should just be honest from the start. Life is short and you don't want to waste your time with relationships you already know are not going anywhere.

Like it says on the title, I hate playing games and I really dislike people who enjoying playing them. If you're 21 or older I expect a certain kind of maturity from you when it comes to dating. You don't need to be as sincere and upfront as I am (I literally say exactly what I mean) but I do expect you not to be an asshole. If you have a girlfriend, don't text other girls even if you say your relationship is practically over (we've all heard that before), don't say you want to get to know me and invite me to your house at 2:00 am or flirt with my friends in a attempt to make me jealous when you're supposed to be my date.  

From what my friends say, that's exactly what it happens on those dating apps like Tinder. I haven't given Tinder a chance and I don't plan to. I did download the app and occasionally me and my friends would go there and just have fun looking at the pictures but I've never even talked to anyone. If you like the app and it works for you, GREAT (seriously, share with us your secret)!

I guess it all just comes down to the fact that I've reached a point in my life where I don't have any energy left to spend playing relationship games. I have a job, I study, I'm applying for masters and I'm dealing with a lot of personal bulls#it of my own to waste time figuring out what you mean when you send me: Hi (wink face)! If you send me that I'll just assume you're saying hello and keep going with my life. If you want to go out just say: Hey, we should go out sometime - don't expect me to assume things based on an emoji, we're not fifteen. 

I was not planing for this post to be a rant but I guess that's how it came out. I just have very strong opinions about certain topics and "playing games" is one of them. Dating is already a rather.. Let's say challenging thing and if you add to that the pressure of over analyzing every sigle word in a text or an email it's enough to just drop everything, by a bunch of cats and become the neighborhood's official crazy cat lady.  

Do you agree?
Are you also tired of playing games?
Let me know your answers, thoughts, hopes and dreams on the comments.
I really enjoying hearing from you guys!

Thanks so much for reading and I'll talk to you soon!

March 15, 2016

Little Life Crise and Update: He’s Not That Into You.

 I’m sure some of you already watched this movie but if you didn’t the title already tells it all: it talks about situations when the guy is just not THAT into you. He might be a little interested but you’re just not his priority. I’m not doing a movie review, although I should start doing those because the amount of movies I watch is extremely high. But I wanted to come over here talk about something that’s been going on in my life lately. I’m not going to talk about a specific person, just a kind of situation that has been happening a lot not only with me but with some of my friends as well.  

I don’t want to make a big deal out of it but me and Sebastian decided to take a breather in the relationship and just spend sometime apart. We’re not calling it a “breakup” because that sounds kind of final but I am currently single. And with being single comes a lot of feelings. I feel free, lonely, sad, happy, confused, depressed, excited and the occasional “what the hell am I doing with my life”.

And given all those feelings we start to get emotional and sometimes a little needy. It’s not like I don’t want to be single anymore or that I need a man. It’s just that sometimes being a alone just sucks. And I’m talking alone in general, like without someone around – not necessarily a male company. I’m all about independence and girl power but sometimes we just need people around.

And that’s exactly when you start to text the guy you met in the bar last week or the friend of a friend who you were supposed to go on a blind date with but never got around to. We start to “lower” our standards for the sake of not feeling lonely. And I’m not judging, we all do it, did it at some point in our lives or had an amazing best friend who stopped us from doing it.

We’re only humans and being alone is not fun. But being with the wrong person is even worst. It might make you feel better in the moment and give you a “kick fix” but, trust me, when it’s over it’s just going to make it worst. And you also risk getting attached to this person because you’re needy, single and alone. So, let’s just not do it anymore. Save yourself all the emotional mess and confusion and dot it like me – write a blog post about. If you don’t have a blog, call a friend, watch a movie, bake cookies, do your thing.  

Learning to be alone takes time. And I don’t want to be a drama queen but I’ve never been more alone. I’m leaving completely by myself for the first time and single. I haven’t been single for almost 5 years. Don’t get me wrong, I’m loving my “new independence” and figuring things out for myself and I think that being alone is just part of it. 

I hope it all made sense. I just felt a little chatty and I wanted share what I'm going through over here because I know that I can't be the only one and if you're currently on the same boat, well.. We're in it together. 

I guess this is all I had to say, guys! I’m sorry for the long post, specially since I haven’t been posting a lot. It’s just that I’ve been going through an emotional roller coaster and on top of that I’m still on the process of moving houses. It's not an excuse it's just that life gets in the way sometimes.

Thanks so much for reading.

March 2, 2016

From Friends to More Than Friends.

Doing the transition from friends to "more than friends" is never as easy and effortless  as movies and TV shows make it sound (Rachel and Ross, anyone?). There's a lot of doubt, fear and anxiety going on and you can never be sure if the friendship will be lost if or when you guys break up. In the beginning you don't know if you're imagining things or if your feeling are being reciprocated and whatnot. 

I never did this transition myself. Me and Sebastian were never really "BFFs" and there was always the "I think I like you" vibes when we were hanging out. But I have 2 friends who did it and while one was a success story (they're currently engage which is extremely exciting) the other is not - let's just leave it at that. This goes to show that every relationship is different.

Anyway, I decided to write this post because I went out with one of these friends (the engaged one) last weekend and we ended up talking about this and relationships in general and I felt inspired to share some of my relationship wisdom. So, let's start with a scenario, shall we? 

"You have a friend. No. You have a best friend. And he is just AH-MA-ZING. He makes you laugh all the time, he's your drinking buddy, your on-call therapist, he takes you out when you're feeling down and, sometimes, he even cancels his dates when you have an emergency and you need him. He is also super cute and  you guys are completely and 100% comfortable around each other. 

But as of recently, you started to see him in a different way. You started to think: "Well, if we're already so good together as friends, why not take things to the next level? Maybe he's the love of my life and I just didn't see it before.. We get along so well.. My entire family loves him, specially mom". And then, you start to second guess everything he does, as well as every thing you do. You try to find meaning and over analyse everything he says. You feel like you're slowly going crazy. And everything is just so exhausting and you're just like AAAAAAAAAH. You love him but you don't want to loose him. Will things get weird if you say anything? What do you do?!"

Sounds familiar?! If you're currently in this situation I big advice to you would be: just WAIT! Before telling him/her about what's going on in your mind wait a little and make sure you're coming from a place where you're 98% sure of your feelings.

Usually, my advice would be to just ask. You save yourself some time and stress. You don't have to keep wondering if he/she feels the same way as you and if the person says no you can just move forward to the next one. But this situation is different. 

This person is your best friend and you don't want to risk everything over a simple crush. Things can get weird very fast and if you want to avoid that you should be sure of your feeling sand be clear when you speak to him. Say exactly how you're feeling and how you want the relationship to grow. And you can only do that if you've given it some time to really think about it. 

Having said that, I think you're the only one who knows what's best for you. I don't know you or your friend in person and I will never know the kind of relationship you have with him/her, so at the end of the day it's all on you. Just avoid taking big decisions (this is a huge decision) in the heat of the moment. 

Also, be prepared for things to change. Even if your feelings are not reciprocated, things may change slightly or completely, so again, make sure you know exactly what you want. And I guess that's it. If he's really your best friend I'm sure he'll be very understanding no matter how he feels about you so don't feel scare and just talk about it. Don't hold it in!

If you're currently in this situation I wish you all the luck in the world. I hope everything works out for you and that whatever the outcome is you'll be happy in the end. I hope you guys liked this post and that it was somehow helpful for you. 

Have you ever went from friends to "more than friends"?
Let us know in the comments if you have any advice to share.
I love reading what you guys have to say, specially in these kinds of posts. 

Thanks so much for reading.