March 2, 2016

From Friends to More Than Friends.

Doing the transition from friends to "more than friends" is never as easy and effortless  as movies and TV shows make it sound (Rachel and Ross, anyone?). There's a lot of doubt, fear and anxiety going on and you can never be sure if the friendship will be lost if or when you guys break up. In the beginning you don't know if you're imagining things or if your feeling are being reciprocated and whatnot. 

I never did this transition myself. Me and Sebastian were never really "BFFs" and there was always the "I think I like you" vibes when we were hanging out. But I have 2 friends who did it and while one was a success story (they're currently engage which is extremely exciting) the other is not - let's just leave it at that. This goes to show that every relationship is different.

Anyway, I decided to write this post because I went out with one of these friends (the engaged one) last weekend and we ended up talking about this and relationships in general and I felt inspired to share some of my relationship wisdom. So, let's start with a scenario, shall we? 

"You have a friend. No. You have a best friend. And he is just AH-MA-ZING. He makes you laugh all the time, he's your drinking buddy, your on-call therapist, he takes you out when you're feeling down and, sometimes, he even cancels his dates when you have an emergency and you need him. He is also super cute and  you guys are completely and 100% comfortable around each other. 

But as of recently, you started to see him in a different way. You started to think: "Well, if we're already so good together as friends, why not take things to the next level? Maybe he's the love of my life and I just didn't see it before.. We get along so well.. My entire family loves him, specially mom". And then, you start to second guess everything he does, as well as every thing you do. You try to find meaning and over analyse everything he says. You feel like you're slowly going crazy. And everything is just so exhausting and you're just like AAAAAAAAAH. You love him but you don't want to loose him. Will things get weird if you say anything? What do you do?!"

Sounds familiar?! If you're currently in this situation I big advice to you would be: just WAIT! Before telling him/her about what's going on in your mind wait a little and make sure you're coming from a place where you're 98% sure of your feelings.

Usually, my advice would be to just ask. You save yourself some time and stress. You don't have to keep wondering if he/she feels the same way as you and if the person says no you can just move forward to the next one. But this situation is different. 

This person is your best friend and you don't want to risk everything over a simple crush. Things can get weird very fast and if you want to avoid that you should be sure of your feeling sand be clear when you speak to him. Say exactly how you're feeling and how you want the relationship to grow. And you can only do that if you've given it some time to really think about it. 

Having said that, I think you're the only one who knows what's best for you. I don't know you or your friend in person and I will never know the kind of relationship you have with him/her, so at the end of the day it's all on you. Just avoid taking big decisions (this is a huge decision) in the heat of the moment. 

Also, be prepared for things to change. Even if your feelings are not reciprocated, things may change slightly or completely, so again, make sure you know exactly what you want. And I guess that's it. If he's really your best friend I'm sure he'll be very understanding no matter how he feels about you so don't feel scare and just talk about it. Don't hold it in!

If you're currently in this situation I wish you all the luck in the world. I hope everything works out for you and that whatever the outcome is you'll be happy in the end. I hope you guys liked this post and that it was somehow helpful for you. 

Have you ever went from friends to "more than friends"?
Let us know in the comments if you have any advice to share.
I love reading what you guys have to say, specially in these kinds of posts. 

Thanks so much for reading. 

1 comment:

  1. Nice Blog!

    Please check my Blog!! :)

    Alessa Bernal :)