April 11, 2016

Looking for Mr. Big.

If you didn't catch it from the title, I've been re-watching Sex and The City and spending waaay too much time doing it (#noshame). As I've been following Carrie's adventures in NY I can't help but wonder when will I ever find my Mr. Big and also why can't my single life be as exciting as hers. I get it, she's a character on a TV show but still.. Being single should be fun and exciting.

If you watched the TV show and the movies you know that her single life has a happy ending and if you don't you should stop reading right now because I'm about to drop some spoilers. Well, she finally gets things right with Mr. Big and they live happily ever after in a super amazing apartment with a killer closet (I would trade Mr. Big for a closet like that anytime). And that makes me think, have I already met my Mr. Big? When will I ever meet him? And, the question that drives me crazy: How can I be sure he's the one?

I've never really believed in finding Mr. Right or "the love of my life". I've fallen in love quite sometimes and I've had some great long term relationships and although they've ended (obviously) I do believe that the person I was with at the moment was the right person for me at that moment. I don't believe there's only one person out there for you simply because you won't always be the same person. For instance, I'm a completely different person now than when I was 15 (thank God!) so I couldn't possibly be with the same boyfriend. 

We change as we grow older and if the person you're with at the moment doesn't grow and change in the same direction as you it's extremely hard to stay in the relationship. But that doesn't mean he was not the right person for you, he was just not the person for you at that moment. Maybe in the future he'll be again, you know? I don't necessarily believe that people change, but I do believe they can grow.

That's why I don't think you should be hung up on finding someone to spend the rest of your life with. You should look for someone that fits your life right now and eventually if that person sticks around and you guys move in the same direction.. I guess he'll become The One. 

The mystery that I haven't figured out yet is: how do you know he's the one? From what my sister and other people that I know that are married or engaged say you just know. There's not a moment in your life when it hits you or a specific thing that he/she does like in the movies, you just know because you can't imagine your life without that person. This is particularly hard for me because I'm not one of those people that can't imagine my life without another person. I've always been very independent and I hate to dwell on the past. Maybe it's because I haven't met the right person yet, we'll see.   

All in all, I believe that finding someone is easy but finding someone worthy of your time and energy is hard. But while you don't find that person enjoy the confusion. Being single (just like everything in life) is what you make of it. You can spend all your weekends home in your pajamas watching Netflix and wishing you had a boyfriend. Or you can go out and have fun with your friends. Take that time to figure out what you want in a partner and to just work on you - having no one but yourself to please is extremely liberating and you won't have that freedom for long (supposing you do want to have kids and settle down eventually).

I guess that's all the rambling I have for you guys today. I hope you enjoyed it and that it helped you in any way. As always, feel free to keep the conversation going. Let me know what you think and if you have any words of wisdom to share with us.

Thanks so much for reading and I'll talk to you soon!   

1 comment:

  1. I like this idea of not having to find the one, but to find someone who is right in this moment. I always thought there was no point in having a relationship if you didn't know whether it would last forever. We all really do grow. Although, I still think it's difficult to find someone, and I still think the confusion of being single but liking someone drives you crazy.

    The Life of Little Me