pages

May 20, 2016

Why I Don't Have A Lot Of Friends.

I think this is going to come as big shock to everybody because of my amazing personality (not really) but I don't have a lot of friends. You know those people that always have something going on or somewhere to be, phone constantly buzzing and always texting? Well, I'm not one of them. And I'm fine with that. 

Growing up I've never had a lot of friends and now that I'm thinking back on it, I don't really no why. I was friends with some of the popular kids but I was never one of them and that didn't seem to bother me at the time. I was part of a small group of four and we were inseparable and that was it. Four was enough.

As I've grown older that group of four got a little smaller and now there are only two of us left. One got married, I had a stupid fight with the another over a boy (I know, very stupid) but I still got to keep my best friend. Over the years I've made a few new friends (not many) and I've met new people but to me actually "making friends" is extremely hard. 

I don't take the word friend lightly. I know nowadays a lot of people do and they seem to collect friends like I collect makeup items (or bags). But to me that's just not appealing and maybe that's why I'm don't have a lot of them. When it comes to friends, quality is better than quantity.   

I went through a phase in my life where I just didn't want to be alone. I had broken up with a boyfriend and was fighting a lot with my parents (typical teenage behavior) so I decided to surround myself with "friends", not caring if they were good or bad people, thinking that if that didn't solve the problem at least I wouldn't be thinking about it and would still have a little fun. Making new "friends" couldn't hurt, right?

As it turns out, it can. It can hurt you a lot. Not caring what kind of people you surround yourself with is one of the worst things you can do. And I'm not being dramatic over here, trust me. I surrounded myself with shitty people and (surprise, surprise) I was constantly finding myself in shitty situations. Bad "boyfriends", bad grades, bad relationship with my parents and bad temper. And, another surprise, those bad things were all things I had in common with the people I was friends with. 

I have a theory. A lot of people say that you become what you think of and I think they are totally right. I just want to add something to that: I believe that you think what you surround yourself with. Your environment and the people around you have a lot of power over your thoughts. Don't get me wrong, we all make our own choices and I don't think you can blame anyone but yourself when it comes to where you are in life but still.. If you're only around people that think a certain, it's going to get to you.

So, I decided to change. Things weren't good anyway so I didn't have a lot to loose. I was getting tired of all the drama and, suddenly, having those people around me didn't sound so good anymore. They didn't care if I got into college or not, they didn't want to be around be when I was upset and they didn't want to know about the things I was interested in. I was super popular and I always had something to do friday night, but I always felt lonely.

The first thing I did was actually the easiest part, I cut those people out. I stopped answering their calls and after a couple of days (I'm not kidding, days, and keep in mind that I was friends with that group for almost an entire year) they stopped calling - just like that. And, slowly, my life got back on track. 

Ever since then, I've been more selective when it comes to friends. And that's not me being a snob or thinking I'm too good for certain people, it's just my choice. At the end of the day, it's your life and you don't own anyone anything. You need to do you and if you have to distance yourself from some people, so be it. They'll get over it.

Now, I believe I have no more than 7 (maybe 8) good friends in my life. They are people that actually care about me, people who I can call when I'm sad or ask for help when I need it. They don't push me into doing anything I don't want to do and I know they all want good things to happen to me. Finding people like that is extremely had and that's why I don't have a lot of them in my life. 

But I think the hardest part in all of that was learning to be happy alone because when you don't have a lot of friends you don't have a lot of options for company. But that's a topic for another post because I feel like I've done enough rambling for today. I hope it all made sense. When I get excited about a topic I tend to think faster than I can write and my thoughts get a little messy. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it and if you did make sure to leave me a comments with your thoughts and opinions on this topic.

Do you have a lot of friends?

Thanks so much for reading and I'll see you soon. 


   

2 comments:

  1. I honestly don't understand how some people manage to proclaim a new best friend after meeting each other like 4 times. I don't understand how people make friends so easily, because I think I'm like you. The word 'friend' is a lot more sacred than other people seem to think it is. Quality over quantity is definitely true. Having shitty friends with negative vibes who destroy your environment and therefore yourself is the best way to unravel all the progress you've made to becoming the best you can be. This post made me feel a lot better about the way I don't make friends with anybody and everybody. I used to think it was because I was unaffectionate or unable to have friendship sparks with people on the first go. For me it takes time and effort. And you know what, just because you have less friends doesn't mean you have to be alone. I know that whenever I'm lonely I just call the same people up all the time, and they'll be there.

    -M
    The Life of Little Me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much for your comment, M! I totally agree with you and it's good to know that I'm not alone on this one! :)

      Delete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...