June 4, 2017

3 New Things // WEEK #1

I've survived, guys!

I'm so excited about writing this post you wouldn't believe it! So, here I am with my first update and let me tell you something: a week is not as long as you'd think. I did my three things alright, but when you're dealing with anxiety and big events (at least big for me), I've discovered that I need at least a couple of hours to come down after an stressful event or sometimes even a whole day of sticking with my regular routine. I know the exact point of this challenge is to trigger my anxiety in small doses, in a controlled environment so I can cope with it in a better way, but it's been hard, guys.. Harder than I thought it would be. I did all the things I set out to do last week, but I didn't take as many pictures as I thought I would because some of them weren't picture worthy or because I was doing them outside my house and it felt weird to take pictures.  

I also wanted to add another rule to this challenge of mine. I told you guys we would see how things went and if I thought it would be necessary I would add another rule (you can read all about it in my introduction post) and it turns out that I do need another rule: I can't do more than 3 things in week and count the extra thing for next week. If I want to do more than 3 things that's great, awesome, perfect, but I can't count the extra one for next week and just do two new things. I'm considering this as cheating, but also.. My anxiety levels would go through the roof if I gave myself the possibility of doing more than 3 things. For the sake of sharing my week with you guys, I will add bonus things.. Like new things that I did but that are not as new or as bold as the main three things. 
ONE // I signed up for the TOEFL exam. 
This is not a very exciting thing, but boy did it trigger up all sorts of anxiety for me. Usually when it's something related to my future or something that involves bureaucracy, my anxiety levels spike up like crazy. I've decided to take the TOEFL exam because I'm hoping to pursue  some sort of course or master degree in another country and I need this exam for almost every program I've researched online. This is the first step towards the end goal and filling up the little application form just to take the exam was already really stressful, specially when I had problems with the paying method (side note: the TOEFL exam is REALLY expensive). I've also started to prepare for the exam and that has also trigged a lot of anxious feelings. I think the anxiety in this situation has to do with the fact that this is the first step towards something really big and something that I really want to do.   

TWO // I downloaded and used a dating app. 
I've decided to postpone the German thing for next week and instead I decided to work on my (nonexistent) love life, because productivity. I've soon discovered that dating apps are stressful and kinda stupid. Not judging if you use it or if you found the love of your life there, I'm just saying that it's an overall kinda weird situation. You have to decide if you "like" the person based on their pictures and the very little and selected information they decide to share on their profile. It's awkward when you decided to hit the like button and even more awkward when you decide to start up a conversation or when they are the ones who take the initiative. I've also realized that most guys (not all of them) are only there for sex (which is not surprising) and they don't really want to get to know you or anything like that. I'm not really sure what I was hoping to achieve there and I didn't really achieve anything. I got a lot of likes, but that doesn't do anything for me. I was hoping to chat with people and make connections, I don't know.. There are a lot of weirdos out there and apparently the majority of them use dating apps.  
Oh, and I'm not gonna tell which app I used cause I don't want you people finding me there! hahahah 

THREE // I volunteered. 
Like I've said on my previous post, I really wanted to volunteer and I did. I now teach English at my local church every Friday night and I'm kinda excited about it. The thing that was holding me back from doing it in the first place was the fact that I thought I wasn't good enough to teach anyone anything, but like my dad told me, you don't need to be the best to do anything and when it comes to teaching you just need to be a few steps ahead than someone to help them get to where you are. I'm really enjoying it, I feel like I'm helping someone and that's a really good feeling. I felt really anxious as I prepared my teaching material and even more when I started the class, but I'm really hoping things we'll get better.   

BONUS THING #1 // I've really engaged with fellow blogger on social media.  
This is something that used to stress me out so much, but now that I've started to do it in small doses everyday.. It's not so scary anymore! I used to be really scared of putting myself out there, I know that blogging is technically putting yourself out, but when you're small blogger you don't get that much attention so it's not that stressful. But engaging with bloggers that look like they know what they're doing and that are not scared to blast all over social media about their blogs, it's quite intimidating. I mean.. I love my blog, I'm proud of it and I want it to succeed and attract more followers, but at the same this is completely terrifying! The thought of people judging me and my content has always refrained me from engaging with readers and bloggers on Twitter and IG, so I decided to tackle this little by little this week. I still get nervous about people that I know personally finding out about my blog, but it's slowly getting better and that's all I can really ask for, right?  

BONUS THING #2 // I've started to use my own pictures on the blog. 
No, I didn't still other blogger's pictures before, I just used or other websites to get cool pictures for my post banners. Usually, the pictures inside the post were mine, but the banners would be made with these other pictures. I'm really self-conscious of my photographing abilities and that was working for me, some of these websites have amazing pictures. But, I've recently decided that that's just stupid. If you follow my blog I assume you want to see the real me and my picture-taking abilities shouldn't really matter. So, I don't know if you've noticed, but the last few posts have been 100% me and it feels great. I figure I'll never get better if I don't practice!  

I guess that's for today, guys! It's been a stressful week but I'm ending it with the feeling that I've grown as a person. I don't know if I already feel less anxious, but I know that's a process and it's only the first week. Hopefully things we'll get better with each week. I'm also planning on taking more photos to share with on these updates! If you'd like to share any thoughts, tips or suggestions of things I should do next week or the weeks after that, feel free to shoot me a comment. I love hearing from you guys and this is a stressful experience, I could use your support!

Keep up with my adventures

Thanks so much for reading and have a wonderful week! 

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