November 9, 2017

Life Update // I've Had A Shitty Week.

Hi, guys.

This week has been hard - and it's still Thursday. I'm currently writing this from my grandma's hospital room, just to give you a feel of the situation. She's perfectly fine now, she's here under observation and she's going home tomorrow, but this week has been very challenging as you can imagine. My parents are traveling and my grandma had an episode - nobody really knows what's wrong with her, so they're assuming it's some psychological.. like she gets nervous because my parents are out of town and she literally makes herself sick. And people say mental illness is not real, right?!

Anyway, now she's fine. She's talking and making jokes, so we're a little less stressed. Unfortunately, my parents had to cut their trip short but they're ok with it, they're just happy everything in fine now. Guys, dealing with big girl stuff by yourself is really scary, specially when it involves hospital and your grandma. And I thought opening a bank account alone was hard. 

That's basically why I skipped a couple of posts here on the blog. I know I was on a roll with Everyday September and Blogtober but all good things must come to an end. And also, daily blogging is exhausting. After spending the entire day at the hospital with my grandma and only having a couple of hours at night to take a shower, get something to eat other than hospital food and feed the cat, the last thing I wanted to do was work on the blog. I don't know why other bloggers do it. Actually, I know how.. by prioritizing, being organized and consistent, but it's extremely hard. I don't think I'll be able to get back to daily blogging this year.. Blogging is very important to me, but unfortunately it can't be my only focus. 

I never thought I would say this but the one thing that has been keeping me sane these past few days has been working out and doing my night time routine. Being at the hospital and practically in charge of someone else is exhausting.. Like I have no idea what type of medication my grandma is on, I don't know if she's allergic to anything, I don't feel comfortable giving the OK for the doctors to do anything to her, so you can imagine what I've been going through. I also struggle with severe anxiety so..

However, no matter how bad it got or how stressed out I was I knew my sister would come at night and I would have a couple of hours to do my thing and that meant 40 min at the gym and an hour or so at home to eat and do my night time routine - and also to jam to Taylor Swift's new songs. Guys, I'm so excited for her new album it's not normal. My sister couldn't help more because she has work and residency (she's a cardiologist) but she did help out plenty.

Can we just take a minute to talk about Reputation. Like, how good are the new songs? I was a bit disappointed with Gorgeous but now I'm digging it. Also, Call It What You Want is my new favorite song.. However, I'm sure once the album comes out I'll have a lot of other new favorite songs. I just love Taylor Swift as an artist so much. I feel like some of her songs are written about my life. And that's because she's honest and she is able to put her feelings into words. I don't really care what goes on on her personal life. Like yeah, she dates people and she breaks up with them, but who doesn't? I wouldn't live my life the way she does, but who cares? It's her life and she seems so nice and she does a lot of good things, I don't know why people hate on her so much. She's just young and doing her thing. And boy, don't even get me started on the whole Kim/Kanye drama. I don't care how you spin it, you can clearly see Taylor was played in that situation. 

I digress. We're not here to talk about Taylor's life, we're her to talk about mine. Even though her life is waaaaaay more interesting then mine. Back to blogging! I tried to bring my laptop to the hospital so I could do some blogging or some studying, but it didnt happen. When I had the time my mind was racing and I couldn't focus. The only thing I was able to do when my grandma was sleeping was read. I've read like three books already, which is good but not something I would consider productive. That's ok though, I know I have other responsibilities right now. 

When things like this happen you realize how hard it is to be an adult. Being responsible for other people and having to solve their problems is one of the scariest things ever because they will also have to deal with the consequences of your choices, you know? It's like you have to choose for them, but the results with not only affect you. I'm ok with making choices that will affect my future but when there are other people involved making choices is terrifying. 

I'm gonna stop rambling. That's what's up. That's why I haven't been around. I have been posting updates on IG because it's easier to keep you guys in the loop over there. I'm super hungry right now so I'm gonna go get myself some green jello and see if I can find some cute doctors. You never know, right? I hope you guys are doing better than me. If you got some good news this week or this month, if you got a new boyfriend, a dog, a fish, a free drink at Starbucks, anything good really, let me know the comments. I could use some positivity in my life right now. Sorry if I bummed you guys out!

How was your week?!

Let's hang some more!

Thanks so much for stopping by and I'll talk to you soon! 

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